Her nursery was always so serene, we played beautiful lullabies, it was dark and peaceful. I nursed her and rocked her to sleep and kissed her chubby little cheeks. Every night I would just stare at her in astonishment in that nursery at the little perfection we had created. I had never felt so in love. The love for your child is just so incredible and undefinable.
I think I always took for granted what an incredible sleeper she was. I never expected her to revert her ways. Boy, was I wrong.
This summer Ali and I decided that it was time we take the next step in our life and become homeowners. Super exciting, and beyond scary. We knew what we had to do in order to make it a reality for our family, and we wanted to have a home....that was ours.
In August, we packed up all her stuff and left our beloved apartment that held so many memories, we packed up her beautiful nursery, carefully wrapping so many precious butterflies that adorned the walls and little trinkets she had been blessed with. It was emotional. That little apartment, held so many memories for our family. Decorating her nursery and waiting impatiently for her to arrive. Bringing home our little baby girl all wrapper up in her "car chair" from the hospital.
So many visitors, coming to love her and meet her. Watching her grow to grasp the octopus on her play mat, to sit up and be surrounded with way too many toys,
pulling herself up on the furniture, nights with the 3 of us and Daddy playing his guitar, her first steps, staring out the window waiting for Daddy to come home, playing at the "wee,"
climbing into her drawer in the kitchen after she had thrown all the Tupperware out of it, and us catching her.
That house was full of love and so many cherished memories, and part of me didn't want to leave. But I remember, the last day we were there, it was empty and clean and Ali and I stood there and realized we had boxed all that up with us, and there stood before us, white walls, stained beige carpet and soon D-316 was just another apartment. All that was in our hearts, in our memories forever.
We moved in with Ali's parents in August to save money to buy our first home. We packed all our stuff into storage, brought necessities and all 3 of us moved into one bedroom. It was a sacrifice for everyone, but it truly has been one of the best experiences we have ever had. Ali's parents are incredible. Eleni adores them, and she is constantly surrounded by so much love and attention, I don't know what we will do once we are in our house, and its back to just the 3 of us.
Since, we have moved there, her sleeping pattern has gotten horrible. I still rock her to sleep every night, although she gave up nursing in September. I truly enjoy that time with her. Every night I put her down in her crib, then Ali and I watch TV together till we go to sleep. I don't know if the noise of the TV makes it so she never falls into her REM sleep until later, or she just knows I am right there, whatever it is she wakes up by 2am. Before I would rock her back to sleep and put her back in the crib and she would be fine. But then I got lazy and started bringing her in our bed. She would toss and turn all night. Ali would never say a word. He was so patient and understanding of how tired I was, and Eleni always wanted mommy so his hands were surely tied.
Then she got sick, I brought her in bed because her cough was so horrendous that it would wake her up every half hour. But, we both felt like we had a newborn again and were at a loss of what to do.
Last night we decided to try something new. We put her in her crib and let her play while we wound down and watched a little TV. Then turned off the TV and said good night. Tears ensue. MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY. We both just laid there, hoping she would stop. 5 minutes or so passes and it doesn't stop. I get up. Ali says don't pick her up. He's right. I walk to her crib and hug and kiss her and say its OK, here is your beautiful crib and your kitty and baby (her stuffed animals) lay down and go nigh nigh. I walked away. Que, screaming crying now!! MOMMY, OUT, UP, ALL DONE, NO NIGH NIGH, PLEASEEEEEE!! So then Ali and I started to sing to her, and she stopped. "Eleni we love you, Eleni your so cute, Nigh Nigh Nigh Nigh Nigh...over and over again." She stood there for about 3 minutes then sat down, we continued to sing, and then stopped singing and she laid down and went to sleep. I woke up at 5:45 and felt that exact feeling I did when she was 5 weeks old and I realized the same thing, SHE SLEPT!!! I woke up Ali, "Babe...its 5:45 and Eleni went to sleep on her own, and she hasn't made one peep all night!!!" I of course had to take a pic of this momentous occasion.
She woke up at 7:30 just in time to kiss Daddy goodbye for work and watch him drive away out the window.
And I...feel like a new woman.
Praying this continues...
No comments:
Post a Comment